Ape Pagoda

I saw a black dude ride down Powell Street on a Segway. Also, saw a guy with a mohawk wearing short shorts, high boots, a bandana, and a half tank top stroll down Powell 20 minutes later with a huge rainbow flag in his back pocket. I totally forgot about the parade.

alexbalk:

I am a white male in his mid-thirties who makes a more than comfortable living doing something in the creative industry that comes so easily to him it feels almost like a scam when I cash the checks. I live in the most cosmopolitan city in one of the most liberal states of the one country that, for all its faults, is still the shining example of what freedom and democracy can be if honestly applied. In the unlikely event that I somehow impregnate a woman with whom I do not wish to have a child, we will have no difficulty terminating the pregnancy. In the unlikely event that I am somehow accused of a crime I did not commit I have sufficient financial resources that I don’t need to rely on an incompetent and overburdened public defender to keep me from imprisonment. In the unlikely event that I am somehow the victim of a consumer product that has been allowed to be sold to the public despite inadequate research into its safety and efficacy, I’ll be more than able to survive the ill effects and somehow obtain compensation for my discomfort and lost time.

All of which is to say that I am essentially The Man. I am the guy for whom the system was built, and so long as I keep my nose (metaphorically) clean, I’ll be just fine. If John McCain wins the presidency and lowers taxes, hey, I’ll be the first one to benefit. If he’s able to appoint three or four Supreme Court Justices when all those fuckers who are approximately his own age die, I’ll be just fine. As a white guy, civil liberties are a pretty ideal that have no real application in my actual life. Should McCain be responsible for the most pro-business Court in history, so be it: I don’t drive a car and I’m not someone likely to be affected if a corporation decides they can shave .0194 cents off the costs of production on headache powder by leaving the rat feces in. I love all my gay friends, but if they’re somehow not allowed to share the same civil rights heteros get vis-à-vis the chance to be miserable in marriage, well, sucks for them, but I’ll still be able to wed, divorce, wed, divorce, wed, divorce etc. ad infinitum.

Basically, I’ll be fine whoever wins this November. I’ve had enough friends express disappointment that, in what should be an easy Democratic year, we’ve nominated someone who will make it that much harder for the Democrats to win, but give me a fucking break: When else are you gonna nominate a black guy to be president? When things are really close?

I’ve probably said this before, but here it is: I believe in America. I believe we’re ready. If I’m wrong? It’s going to suck for all those people in Kansas and West Virginia who couldn’t see past the prism of race to somehow support their own self-interest, but you know what? Maybe they deserve to suffer because of that. I mean, I hope it doesn’t turn out that way. Based on my demographic profile, I should be a natural McCain supporter, but I’m not, because, as stupid as this sounds, I want a better world. But hey: If the rest of America doesn’t, I’ll still be just fine, as I suspect many of you who are reading this will also be. So it’s kind of win-win, except for that 13-year-old girl in Hinds County, Mississippi, who is carrying her father’s child but can’t have an abortion because of the ridiculous restrictions the state places on the bodies of its sovereign citizens. It’s gonna be hard for her, but whatever, I’ll be just fine. Hail to the etc.

nowseehear:

Obviously, after these instructions went around my office, photoshopped album covers have been become the days highest priority.

1 - Go to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to Random quotations: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.
(If you want to do this again, you’ll hit refresh to generate new quotes, because clicking the quotes link again will just give you the same quotes over and over again.)

3 - Go to flickr’s “explore the last seven days” http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days/
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

Put it all together, that’s your debut album.

There are some interesting results on this forum where it started:
http://aethereverywhere.com/discuss/showthread.php?tid=71